Co-authors: Yours truly and Fuzzy. B (no relative of Jazzy B)
We are completely out of our minds as the evening has been unexpectedly funny –so the story below may not have happened in the order that we narrate it – but it did happen, for real.
Today morning, when Fuzzy B decided to go for an event, ‘Conversations between S3, a Nepali author who has authored 3 books in Angrezi and S2, the moderator’ – I went along with my own ulterior motive of hobnobbing with the hosts to do some fundraising for my organisation. Neither of us was aware of the laugh riot awaiting us.
The host: … … …. I am happy to see so many people standing at the back. There are some chairs in the front that some of you can sit and the rest of you … (long pause).
– And I am sure he meant to end with – “… and the rest of you may continue standing”. Fuzzy B nudged me (only to say): Stop, stop – stop laughing!
He continued, “We have with us S3 who has authored 3 books namely … “. After an uncomfortable long pause (and looking really lost), he handed the mike over to the author who named her 3 books.
– Fuzzy B caught him staring at us, while we were trying really hard not to look amused that he did not even bother to know what books he was talking about.
S2, the moderator: I think when one reads authors like Paulo Coelho and other international authors who have written 4-5 books, you do not want to read them anymore –as they are writing the same thing but S3s’ books are distinct from each other.
– As we looked at each other with bewildered eyes: “What is she saying”, S2 went on to ask S3, the most interesting question of the evening: “How did you become a writer?”
S3: I was inspired by many things like passing wind … nature …
– Not having ever known ‘passing wind’ to be so inspiring – I had to bite my finger hard to stop myself from laughing while Fuzzy B dug her nails into her palms in desperation.
Talking about books that inspired her, S3 mentioned Charles Dickens and Tolstoy – her favourites. And her inspiration was Anita Desai, renowned Indian writer, whose writings she thought were romantic.
– If anyone has read Anita Desai and if Anita Desai is reading this … we want to say no more.
S3: I dropped out of school and got married when I was really young. I became a writer as there was something inside me trying to come out. I self-tutored myself.
She said ‘…there was something inside me trying to come out” three times in five minutes.
– Every time ‘the thing’ inside her wanted to come out – the laughs inside us were trying to come out too. The minute we heard that she had ‘self-tutored’ herself – me and Fuzzy B decided to self-publish ourselves.
Note – This is an author who has written not one, not two but three books in Angrezi and done an Oxford writing workshop in UK. Her co-participants, she explained, some younger than her and some 80 year olds – made her feel like she was in school again.
Now this is not to say that my Angrezi is perfect, but then I do not have 3 books published under my name nor am I on a dais talking to 100 odd people.
S3: I use women as strong characters in my writings, as mans (sic) don’t do anything – they are fathers, they only go to work and they sit facing the couch. (Yes, you read that right – facing the couch; not facing the TV, not sitting on the couch…) Women are limitless – I like women better .
– Having dated a few men in my life, I wish I could have liked women better, but I still prefer a man, I must say. Trying to imagine the ‘mans’ sitting facing the couch – me and Fuzzy B nearly laughed out loud. Seeing us laugh, I imagined the girl seated next to me was secretly scowling at us but turns out she wasn’t secretly scowling, because she clearly disapproved – rather, she was scowling energetically
S3: The audience at an event like fall in three categories: the first are aspiring writers (who want to learn); the second are journalists who are forced to cover such events; and the third are readers. May all the readers be healthy who keep us writers in business!
– She forgot to mention the fourth category: IDIOTS like me and Fuzzy B. We, IDIOTS, decided we could not sit and laugh in silence and rolled out of the door ‘passing through wind’, laughing hysterically – like hyenas, says Fuzzy B.